What is mirroring in sales and why is it helpful?
Science is now revealing the secrets of persuasive communication. Neuroscientists are beginning to explain mirroring in sales and other functions in our brains that enable us to perceive the intentions and perhaps even thoughts of others. New learning reveals how those with the necessary skills, can lead another person’s thinking.
You will likely have heard of mirroring in sales as a technique for building rapport. Mirror neurons reflect the actions of others. These particular brain cells are widely associated with the capacity for empathy.
Empathy is one of a pair of traits often observed together in top sales performers – empathy and ruthlessness. Good empathy helps salespeople understand and sufficient ruthlessness enables them to take advantage. Mirroring in sales for persuasive communication rests first on understanding and then self-control.
This is an influential article on the topic of mirroring:
The Art and Science of Mirroring – Carol Kinsey Goman
In "The Art and Science of Mirroring" by Carol Kinsey Goman, the author discusses the concept of limbic synchrony—our subconscious imitation of another person's body language to express agreement and connection. This phenomenon, deeply rooted in our neurology, is exemplified through the activation of mirror neurons, which play a crucial role in empathy and social interaction. Goman highlights how mirroring can enhance business relationships and leadership effectiveness by fostering rapport and empathetic connections, making it a strategic tool in communication and management.
Empathy and Sales Mirroring
You may have caught yourself wondering what another person is thinking. Perhaps you are aware of posing a thought question, Can I trust what I am hearing? Is he or she really interested or just playing along?
The stunning implication of mirror neuron research is that we have the ability to literally feel another person’s feelings. If we can feel another's feelings, we can intuit their thoughts and judgements.
Perhaps more disturbing is the idea that salespeople can intuit our thoughts by mirroring our body language and then lead thinking through shifts in their body language. Those who can use their non-verbal signals on purpose may have an edge over those who don’t or can’t. Mirroring in sales is certainly an advanced skill that might be mastered with persistence and practise.
Here is a related illustration of the power of your brain:
How to Control Someone Else's Arm with Your Brain
Sounds weird right?
This is an excerpt from the video transcript of Greg Gage's Ted Talk:
"So now I'm going to hook you up over here so that you get the stimulus. It's going to feel a little bit weird at first. This is going to feel like a, when you lose your free will and someone else becomes your agent, it does feel a bit strange."
Follow this link and watch a video demonstration that illustrates how our brains are a tightly integrated part of our bodies:
Key Aspects of Sales Mirroring
Matching body language including posture and gestures, helps convey that you are on the same wavelength as people you are speaking with. This fosters a subconscious connection​​.
Adopting a similar tone of voice, pace, and volume makes people feel you are in tune with them. It also helps to use similar vocabulary and speech patterns to mirror a person's communication style.
Subtlety and authenticity are key to effective mirroring. Overt mirroring can seem insincere or even mocking. It’s important to be authentic while adapting to the prospect's style to avoid seeming manipulative​.
What are Common Sales Mirroring Mistakes People Make?
- If you are too precise with your mirroring efforts it is likely to be noticed.
- If you mirror some aspects of another body language but not others, your efforts will send an inconsistent message. For example, mirroring posture and mannerisms but not speech. Even if not noticed, the incongruity may make the other person feel uncomfortable.
- When attempting to match and mirror, you may become too disconnected from your natural body language and this can be disconcerting for the other person.
- Attempting to mirror an individual in group settings can become obvious to other people in the group. Mirroring more than one person at a time is too complex and usually ineffective​​.
Mirroring can be a powerful tool in sales, helping to build stronger connections with clients and facilitating more effective communication. However, it's essential to use this technique judiciously and with genuine intent to foster real connections rather than simply manipulating the conversation.
How to Learn Mirroring in Sales
So what should you do if you want to develop your sensory acuity, sales mirroring, and persuasive communication skills? What should you do if you want to learn how to read and control other people’s minds . . . or just defend your own? Here are some specific steps that you can take:
- Before an important meeting begins, remind yourself to notice the trivial things like posture, limb position, breathing, eye movement, facial expression, tone, cadence, intonation, volume, emphasis etcetera. Once in the meeting, try to do this without disrupting the normal flow of conversation. Don’t act on anything you notice. To begin with, just observe.
- After each meeting, write down what you observed and reflect on its meaning.
- Do this for every meeting until it becomes habitual. It might take 20 or more meetings.
- Next, expand your post-meeting notes with careful observations of your nonverbal reactions to the dialogue and the nonverbal reactions of other people in the meeting.
- Keep this up until you habitually pay much more attention to your body language and that of others. Make it a habit.
- Next, include observation and use of nonverbal language in your meeting preparation. Plan to establish rapport through matching and mirroring. Note how you will know if you have succeeded. Plan how to lead the other person or people to think the thoughts you want them to and share things you want them to share.
Keep following the development programme until it is second nature and you have mastered the ability to match, mirror, achieve rapport and lead so that others willingly and unconsciously follow your thinking.
Article by Clive Miller
If you want to learn mirroring in sales or how to improve persuasive communication, get in touch. Telephone +44 (0)1392 851500. We will be pleased to discuss your needs or talk through the options. Alternatively, email custserv@salessense.co.uk or use the contact form here.
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